Coping with Unspoken Feelings

By Maria Quiroz

Caregivers play a vital role in caring for those who can no longer care for themselves. Being a caregiver is both a challenging and rewarding responsibility. For the past seven years, I have had the pleasure of working with caregivers at the Del Mar Caregiver Resource Center. It has been a wonderful experience supporting many of you, and I have learned so much about the caregivers in our community. Each caregiver's journey is unique, and we all navigate the various stages of care in our ways, which is perfectly okay. Learning to cope with the feelings and emotions that arise during these journeys will look different for everyone.

As caregivers, we often go through anticipatory grief without even realizing it. For many of us, discussing this topic can be challenging, especially when we are burdened with negative thoughts and feel the need to remain strong. Anticipatory grief refers to the feelings of loss we experience for loved ones who are still physically present but are facing a terminal illness or a life-threatening diagnosis. It’s important to remember that it's okay not to be strong all the time and to acknowledge that it's normal to feel overwhelmed. When we encounter certain situations, our lives can feel like they are falling apart, and we may struggle to cope with our emotions.

Here are some helpful tips for coping with difficult feelings:

Talk About It: Sharing your feelings with a friend, family member, or therapist can be beneficial. If talking feels uncomfortable, consider writing about your feelings in a journal.

Acknowledge Your Feelings: Embrace and acknowledge any emotions you experience. Remember, nobody is perfect, but we can change our perceptions of our feelings.

Prioritize Self-Care: It can be challenging to focus on yourself, especially if you’re caring for others. Try to set aside at least 15 minutes for an activity you enjoy, such as taking a walk, doing skincare, listening to music, singing, or simply expressing yourself.

Journaling: Writing about your emotions and identifying any triggers can be a valuable coping strategy. Reflecting on how to manage these feelings can provide clarity.

Engage in Creative Outlets: Drawing, sketching, or painting can help express emotions and relieve stress.

Gardening: Spend time tending to plants, feeling the texture of the soil, or even planting new seeds. This can be a grounding and calming activity.

Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to ask for guidance and support from your family consultant at Del Mar. Asking questions is always encouraged if you’re unsure about something.

Taking these steps can help you navigate through tough emotions more effectively. Incorporating a new activity into our routine as caregivers can be rewarding and help us feel better. While these activities won't necessarily solve our problems, they can change how we perceive our situations.